Twatwaffles Of The Week

And away we go.........................

First, a Dicknozzle of Douchebaggery:  Richard Handl, 31, from Angelholm in southern Sweden who tried to build a nuclear reactor in his kitchen, and, of course, tracked his progress on, among other things, his Facebook page.  "The boiling explosion was about 3 or 4 months ago and the police came two weeks ago," he said.  After the incident, which he tagged "The Meltdown" on his blog, he said he "cleaned up the mess on the cooker and then I bought some more radium and continued the experiment."  After authorities raided his apartment, and discontinued the "experiment", he, in the understatement of the year, logged "Project Cancelled" on his blog.  In the future, might I suggest a safer hobby like lion taming volunteering for the bomb squad?

Swede Tried To Build A Nuclear Reactor In His Kitchen

Number Five:  One of our favorite windbags, Rush Limbaugh, makes a return appearance this week.  What inane thing did he say to warrant a return trip to our twatwaffle list?  After a a moronic rant about how President Obama essentially wants to destroy everyone's savings, and I can only assume that the president is happy about the recent stock market slide and tonight's announcement of a credit downgrade, at least in Rush's rather distorted view, he then compared President Obama to strongman Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe.  Rush seems to think that President Obama will soon be seizing white folks' farms here in the US, much like Mugabe did in Zimbabwe.  Yes, once again, Rush's ignorance of world events and racial insensitivity are on full display again.  In his defense, maybe he was stoned on pain killers.  Just sayin'.

Limbaugh Says Obama Economic Role Model Is Robert Mugabe

Number Four:  Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is also an on the fence Republican presidential candidate.  As previously noted in the column, Perry is attending a prayer gathering in Houston on 6 Aug 11, which seems innocuous at first until you hear the types of ministers who will be attending this rally.  Among the more (ahem) interesting statements put forth by these wonderful examples of Christianity at it best are that God sent Hitler to Earth to hunt Jews and force them into Israel, the repeal of Don't Ask; Don't Tell caused a bird kill in Arkansas, the First Amendment's guarantee of freedom of religion only applies to Christians, the Statue of Liberty is a demonic idol, and that the Japanese stock market has remained stagnant because the Emperor of Japan had sex with the "Sun Goddess".  I wish I were making this up, but I am not.  Really, Rick, you should watch with whom you are seen.  Folks might think you are as loony as these "pastors", nor maybe you are.  Regardless, I hope the American people take this type of thing into consideration before possibly electing you as the most powerful man in the world.

Rick Perry Pals Around With Pastors Who Warm About The Perils Of Sex With Demons

Number Three:   Mark Bausch of DeLeon Springs, FL, who allegedly forced his way into a blind woman's home and stole a parrot that he previously traded to the woman in exchange for fifty dollars and a computer.  It seems Mr. Bausch decided that he missed the bird and the computer ran too slowly, so he wanted the bird back.  When the woman refused, he accosted her and took it anyway.  I bet you are as impressed as I am, aren't you, dear readers?  There is something particularly sickening about the disabled being physically assaulted, isn't there?

Man Shoved Blind Woman; Stole Her Parrot

Number Two:  Gerardo Martinez, 30, of Council Bluffs, IA, who  has been charged with animal torture, bestiality and indecent exposure after he allegedly attempted to have sex with a cat and then threw it out a window, along with a pornographic DVD.  The cat later died, and Martinez admitted to using meth before the incident.  I say it every week, folks.  I don't make this stuff up,  I just report it. 

Man Admits To Sex With Cat Before Throwing It From A Window

Number One:  We have a 72 way tie for Twatwaffle Number One this week.  They are the 72 people who were recently charged in an online child pornography ring.  More than 50 members of a child pornography ring who engaged in what authorities describe as "horrific" and "unspeakable" crimes have been arrested for sexually exploiting children from 12 years old to as young as infants.  Seventy-two members of the online site called Dreamboard have been charged in the United States. Officials said 52 of them have been arrested in the U.S. and abroad. The identities of the remaining 20 are unknown at this time.  "In order to become part of the Dreamboard community, prospective members were required to upload pornography portraying children under 12 years of age or younger," said Attorney General Eric Holder at a Justice Department news conference. "Once given access, the participants had to continually upload images of child sexual abuse in order to maintain membership. The more content they provided, the more content they were allowed to access. Members who created and shared images and videos of themselves molesting children received elevated status and greater access," he said.  What particularly horrified investigators were "super-hardcore" posts that involved adults having violent sexual intercourse with "very young kids" who were being subjected to both physical and sexual abuse.  Holder said, "Some of the children featured in these images and videos were just infants and in many cases, the children being victimized were in obvious and also intentional pain, even in distress and crying, just as the rules for one area of the bulletin board mandated. They had to be in distress and crying." 

Friends, I often try to have some fun with the Twatwaffles

Seventy Two Charged In Online Child Porn Ring

Peace and love, my brothers and sisters.